How does it feel to be home?
The long answer:
I go from being afraid for his life to seeing him run down the hallway, squealing at his siblings’ antics.
I go from him being watched by brilliant medical professionals to being the primary eyes on him.
I go from loneliness of wandering and sleeping in a city by myself to togetherness, the reunion of a broken family.
I go from a bubble personal space to the strong shoulder of my husband, and the cuddles of my children.
I go from meditative silence to multiple children, screaming and whining.
I go from isolation, with friends only in touch by email, to seeing and connecting with a husband and friends I love.
I go from a daily routine of reading, writing and learning to endless interruptions.
I go from a terrible mattress as bouncy as the floor to the greatest mattress in the world, 100% Pima cotton sheets and a colorful fluffy bedspread.
Basically, I go from sacrifice to another,
From loneliness to fear,
From contemplation to the busy life of a housewife parenting four kids.
Still, I would rather be home.
The short answer: Good.